When you got married, you both had such high hopes for your future together. You sadly saw marriages of friends and family break up, but you refuse to believe it will happen to you. For you both believe, “Our marriage is different!” But now your marriage has serious problems, and you have to make choices of how to proceed. Should you give up? Or try to  repair it?

One thing you are considering is bringing in outside help, marriage counseling. But you may have some anxietiy about marriage counseling questions. You wonder, “what will we be asked?” Well, for many couples it may be hard to face these questions, but it’s vital to face these personal and sensitive issues, especially if you want to get your marriage back on track. This is an important factor.

First, let’s answer the question, “Does marriage counseling work?” Studies show that 98% of couples report that they received good benefits from the counseling, and over half experienced an improvement in the quality of their marriages. (Provided the counselor was neutral!)

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When you go to marriage counseling, a quality counselor or therapist will work with you both and listen to both of your points of view. He or she will provide a situation where both of you feel safe to talk about deeper issues. You will be helped to listen to each others problems, in an environment designed to keep communication open, and managed so neither has a fear of the other over-reacting.

And now to your main concern…what will I be asked?

Questions will be posed about your pasts, present, and your hopes and fears for your future together. The past is very important as it’s what has brought you both to your present. And how you handle your present will determine your future as a couple. Marriage counseling questions can be quite hard to answer truthfully, but the sensitive issues they uncover must be dealt with so you can move forward.

You will be asked what you think the status of your relationship is. Each of you may have a different view.

Other questions will focus on the children from your marriage. You will be given help for how to make the situation as easy as possible for your children, especially if they are still minors.

It’s also important for your counselor to ask you what you want from your sessions together. What results do you want to achieve? What are your shared goals as a couple? From how you both answer, your counselor will know what direction to help you take.

And you will probably be helped to set some goals you can achieve together, and individually, to improve your marriage at this time, and for the future. The more defined your goals are, the more successful your counseling will be.

Marriage counseling is a wonderful help particularly if you and your partner have reached a point where you cannot talk without fighting.  Remember, a good counselor will be neutral and a good listener, and never take sides. It’s important you to feel fully at ease, so you each can talk freely, and honestly. If you feel you cannot, move on to someone you do feel at ease with, and for both your sakes, remains neutral.

The marriage counseling questions you will be asked, though painful, will allow you to uncover what may have been hidden, or issues of which you were not aware. This confrontation with honesty and openness can help you move forward from a precarious time in yourmarriage, and restore the trust that you have lost.