stop divorce

Marriage Advice: Wives Need to Rethink Priorities to Win Back Husband

Birmingham, AL (PRWEB) August 21, 2006

Wives are often shocked when a husband voices his desire for a marital separation or divorce. This is because many men do not discuss their feelings easily, according to marriage counseling expert Nancy Wasson, Ph.D.

“Even if the wives suspect that the spouse isn’t entirely happy, they don’t think he’d ever be the one to ask for a divorce,” states Dr. Wasson.

Sometimes the husband can’t give a specific answer as to why he feels the way he does. He just finally gets to the point where he can’t continue living in what he feels is a lifeless and unhappy marriage. This is when a marriage separation may seem to be a path to a better life.

Sometimes, these feelings of discontent are brought to a head by the awareness that he’s getting older and life is passing him by. Big birthdays such as turning 40 or 50 can trigger what’s commonly called a “mid-life crisis.”

In some cases wives are shocked when their husbands come home from work one day—on a day that seems like any other normal day—and suddenly declare that they want a divorce and intend to move out. They may also share the news that they have found someone else, or they may simply say that they need “space.”

When these various scenarios unfold, a wife is left wondering what she’s done wrong, what she’s missed picking up on in the previous months, and what her husband really wants.

“Even when she asks her husband to go to marriage counseling,” states Wasson, “it’s often too little, too late.” Marriage separation followed by divorce is sadly a too-frequent scenario in what could have been a successful relationship.

Through the many years that she has been working with couples, Dr. Wasson has found that there are definite things wives can do to stop divorce and win back their husband – if they act soon enough.

Wasson says there are five needs and priorities that often get overlooked and lead to a husband’s dissatisfaction:

1.    Men want to be appreciated for what they contribute to the marriage and family. They don’t want to be taken for granted. Some men have said, “I feel like she only values my paycheck and if I weren’t here anymore, she’d be fine with that.” Everyone likes to feel appreciated, and husbands are no exception.

2.    Husbands enjoy seeing their wives smile and laugh, and they find smiles and laughter appealing. They do enjoy having their wives appreciate their jokes or stories, but they also like to see their wives just looking happy in general.

3.    Husbands want to feel that their wives really care about their welfare and about them on a deep level. They want their wife to spend time with them, to be concerned about their health, happiness, and well-being. They don’t want to feel that the kids always come first and that their preferences and needs are overlooked.

4.    Husbands want private time with their wives—not just for sex, although that’s important–but also to do activities together on their own. This is where making time for a “date night out” every week or so is important. Then the husband and wife can see a movie they want to see, uninterrupted by the kids, or have a peaceful meal at a restaurant.

5.    Husbands want a satisfying sex life. A marriage without a passionate sex life is lacking a key ingredient that wives all too often underestimate. The fire or passionate spark that helps a couple to stay together is missing, so there’s often a lack of “life” or energy in the relationship.

Wasson’s marriage advice for wives is to initiate a discussion about these five needs to find out how the husband feels in the unhappy marriage and what needs are not being met. This tactic will go a long way in stopping marital separation and divorce from happening.

According to Dr. Wasson, “It’s important to open the communication door so that the husband will feel ‘heard’ and the wife will have the information she needs to readjust her priorities and start making changes that can save the unhappy marriage and stop divorce.”

###

©Copyright 1997-

, Vocus PRW Holdings, LLC.
Vocus, PRWeb, and Publicity Wire are trademarks or registered trademarks of Vocus, Inc. or Vocus PRW Holdings, LLC.

Related Save My Marriage Press Releases