Is Marriage Obsolete – or Is It The Economy?
(PRWEB) December 27, 2011
Fewer weddings during the holidays – What’s love got to do with it?
Fifty-one percent of adults are married today. That’s down from 72 percent back in 1960, according to a recent study from the Pew Research Center (http://bit.ly/ucVfnM), which also appeared on CBS news stating that if this downward trend continues, marriage rates could be below 50 percent in just a few years. Additionally, the average age has jumped to record highs: 26.5 percent for women and 28.7 percent for men. The report also shows that between 2009 and 2010, new marriages dropped by five percent, an indicator that “may or may not” have to do with the economy, say researchers. Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil agrees that the economic downturn is likely playing a role in marriage decisions, but also notes that our culture is less conducive to marriage than it perhaps was in 1960.
“In earlier generations, marriage was almost a foretold path,” says Dr. Bonnie, “It was a natural progression. Nowadays women can have careers to support themselves, couples buy homes together without being married, singles can adopt children, parents help finance their kids’ lives – so there might not be as much of a push for marriage.” Additionally, Dr. Bonnie cites that practicality might be playing a role. With weddings costing so much, and so many people out of work, it may be a necessity for some couples that they not wed right now. However, Dr. Bonnie says that couples should consider – two can live more inexpensively than one – “marriage can actually be an economical decision,” she says, especially if couples tone down the cost of a marriage ceremony and focus on the long-term picture.
The study also found that divorce plays less of a role than it used to: divorce rates have leveled off recently after climbing in the 60’s and 70’s – but with the recession this could be changing (http://huff.to/hbw1YT). Financial pressures are causing more couples’ relationships to unravel. “Money has long been one of the top causes for divorce, and now things are exasperated” says Dr. Bonnie. Job loss, mortgage payments, school tuition and a myriad other things are much more burdensome for many than they used to be – and this can lead to couples wanting to end the relationship.
With so much divorce around us, Dr. Bonnie says couples may be wary of entering a lasting union. “It’s smart to be wise about a long-term commitment,” she says, “but couples shouldn’t think that their relationship is doomed to fail.” She feels that people use the economy as an excuse for not getting married if they have a fear of marriage failure when they see divorces happening all around them.
Sixty percent of respondents in the Pew Center survey said they still wanted to get married. Dr. Bonnie says this is an opportunity for people to stop making excuses and be honest about what they’re looking for in a relationship: “There’s nothing wrong with opening up early on in a relationship and talking about what your goals are; it can save the agony of a long, mis-matched relationship.” Create a space in the discussion during one of the first dates where each person can be honest about their life goals as well as their relationship goals – no strings attached. Dr. Bonnie teaches what she calls Smart Heart Skills and Dialogue and teaches in her guide “Make Up Don’t Break Up.” They’re skills that couples need to learn to create, not ones we’ll learn at school or on the job.” But, like going to the gym, it’s possible to teach yourself these good habits. Couples can recreate the same chemicals as when they first fell in love and if done right marriages can be blissful.
Dr. Bonnie says, having these types of interactions early on will either illuminate for couples if they’re not on the same page, or create a long-lasting foundation of relational honesty. Couples can recreate the magic in a long-term relationship, year after year, if they learn the three P’s: prepare, predict, prevent. We need to face our fears of failure and learn the tools to cohabitate and keep the sizzle sizzling – then more people would get married!
Text ADULTERY to 82257 to find out from Dr Bonnie if adultery may be looming in your relationship!
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Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil’s best-selling book, Adultery the Forgivable Sin is being re-released under a new distributor and making its appearance available in eBook format and print on Amazon.com (http://www.amazon.com/Adultery-Forgivable-Bonnie-Eaker-Weil/dp/1587768151/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1321019076&sr=8-1). Adultery the Forgivable Sin was also made into a Lifetime Original Movie starring Kate Jackson.
Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, PhD, is also author of the 2010 New York Times Reader’s Choice Award-winning book Make Up Don’t Break Up with accompanying DVD Falling in Love and Staying In Love. Dr. Bonnie counsels couples, singles, and step families. She works with those considering breaking up, people who have committed adultery, and couples who want to strengthen their relationships damaged by resentment or unresolved anger, teaching people to “fight” to increase passion, bring back magic and restore the sizzle. Dr. Bonnie teaches Smart Heart Dialogue along with communication and connection tools, and counsel’s families and children.
Named the Best Local Therapist by the US Commerce Association and known as “The Adultery Buster” and the “No. 1 Love Expert,” she is the best-selling author of other books like Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples (Revised edition Feb 2010, including DVD How to Fall in Love and Stay in Love for Singles and Couples), Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery?, How Not to (S)mother Your Man and Keep a Woman Happy, and Financial Infidelity.
Dr. Bonnie is presently featured and available now on the Discovery Health/Oprah Winfrey Network documentary titled “Unfaithful” and A&E on addictions. ABC’s Good Morning America, a three-day series on NBC’s The Today Show, The Oprah Winfrey Show five times, a four day series on Fox TV regarding dating. She appears frequently on ABC, Fox, CBS and NBC News, The View, 20/20, and CNN. Visit Dr. Bonnie at http://www.DoctorBonnie.com.
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