unhappy marriages

Marriage Counseling Shows Husbands who Master New Skills May Win Back Wife

Birmingham, AL (PRWEB) July 24, 2006

Marriage counseling specialist Nancy Wasson says many men in an unhappy marriage end up in a marriage crisis agonizing over how to save their marriage. These husbands frequently ask, “Why does my wife say she’s unhappy?” and “What does she want that I’m not doing?”

Many of the men have been blindsided by a wife’s confession that she’s not happy in the marriage and wants a separation or divorce. Dr. Wasson states, “They want to know how to win back the wife.”

Wasson continues, “In the past, it was enough for a husband to be a good provider, to have stable employment, and to bring home an adequate paycheck. But now, that’s not enough anymore for many females.”

Enter the age of the “soulmate” — a word that signifies a deep bond and heart connection, someone who’s on the same “wave length” as his or her partner.

So, what is a soulmate?

Soulmates are romantic partners who are compatible together and bring out the best in each other. The relationship has satisfying intimacy and includes friendship, companionship, and often a spiritual component as well as love.

Dr. Wasson states that wives want a soulmate who they feel deeply connected to, and they want emotional support and emotional intimacy. This means that they want a husband who will talk about his feelings and who values having an emotional connection.

So what’s a husband in an unhappy marriage who has neglected these important aspects of a satisfying marriage to do? The first thing is to understand the necessity of emotional intimacy in a happy marriage. The second thing is to take action.

The following marriage advice will help in making a beginning:

1. Set a time with your spouse when you can talk and process the day’s events. Some days, you might only need ten or fifteen minutes to keep your emotional connection strong. On other days, you may have more to discuss.

2. Push yourself past your comfort zone in making an effort to really share your feelings, problems, and concerns. Dr. Wasson states that husbands sometimes don’t share important happenings in their life because they don’t want to worry their wives. And they don’t realize how left out and unnecessary their wife feels as a result when she finds out later.

3. Watch your natural tendency to want to offer solutions prematurely when your wife brings up a decision she is wrestling with. Most men like to solve problems, and often their first reaction is to offer a solution immediately. Instead realize and accept that with women, the real goal is to talk about the issue.

4. If you’re experiencing continuing difficulty with expressing your feelings or handling negative emotions, consider working in marriage counseling to improve your skills. You might participate in some individual sessions as well as some joint sessions with your wife.

5. Remember that most change occurs when you make a number of small steps in a new direction. You won’t change your unhappy marriage overnight, but if you consistently keep trying to improve, your actions can have a significant impact on the quality of your relationship.

Marriage counselor Nancy Wasson, Ph.D., has been a Licensed Professional Counselor for more than twenty years. She coaches couples in unhappy marriages and provides immediate help through the privacy of telephone and email consultations. She is the author of “Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says ‘I Don’t Love You Anymore!’” She offers a free weekly marriage advice newsletter at http://www.KeepYourMarriage.com.

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